Have none of your friends or family offered to host a bridal shower for you?
Tradition says someone else throws a shower for the bride-to-be.
It’s also much easier on you if someone else does the hard work.
But what if you don’t have anyone to help? Should you throw your own bridal shower? Is that tacky or a faux pas?
Why do we even have bridal showers?
Originally we had bridal showers because the couple was moving out on their own for the first time and didn’t have any household items.
Nowadays, a lot of people move out of their parents’ house before they get married and accumulate household items they need.
Do you really need a bridal shower?
No you don’t NEED to have a bridal shower.
No one is going to be mad if you don’t have a shower. You won’t be letting anyone down if you decide to just forgo it.
It’s nice to have because of tradition, and it’s an easy way to get household items if you need them.
So if you decide that you don’t want to have a wedding shower, that’s okay.
What if no one can host your bridal shower for you?
If you don’t have anyone close to you that can or will throw your bridal shower for you, you can always throw your own.
It does go against tradition, but no one can stop you.
Some reasons you might need to throw your own bridal shower:
- You don’t have any close female family members or friends. (Men typically don’t want to throw showers)
- Your friends or family live far away.
- Your friends or family would like to throw you a bridal shower but can’t because they lack time or money.
- Everyone expects someone else to throw your shower so they don’t offer.
It could be any reason, but usually it’s because of lack of money, time, or energy.
Throwing a shower takes a lot of planning, time, and mental energy.
Another thing could be that your best friend expects your sister to do it and your sister expects your mom to offer to host. So no one brings it up.
Sometimes you have to take things into your own hands, break tradition, and throw your own bridal shower.
Pros to throwing your own bridal shower
You get to choose everything. The decor, the timing, the food. It’s all up to you.
No need to worry about hating the theme or the games.
You have complete control. (Well, as much control as humanly possible.)
You get to throw tradition out the window. Screw tradition. You do you.
Sometimes it can feel good to defy traditional standards. Own it.
You get to actually have a bridal shower.
The biggest reason to throw your own shower is to actually HAVE a shower. If no one else will do it for you, you have to take matters into your own hands to make it happen.
Cons to throwing your own bridal shower
It breaks tradition. And some people might think that’s weird.
Or you might even not want to mess with a time honored tradition. Which is a valid opinion. You don’t have to if you really don’t want to.
People might think you’re greedy. This is something I hear a lot.
Some people think it’s tacky or greedy to throw your own bridal shower. But you can throw your own birthday party right? Those have gifts too!
Just because you invite someone, doesn’t mean they have to come. So don’t worry too much about people judging you. If they judge you, do you even really want them there? No.
Go ahead and ignore those people and do it anyway.
It takes a lot of time to plan. Time you don’t have because you’re also planning a wedding.
This is one of the main reasons it’s a bridesmaid’s job to throw a shower.
Not only do you have to plan a giant expensive party for your wedding day, you also have to plan a party before the big party.
So definitely consider the time it takes to plan and prepare.
It costs money. Throwing a bridal shower ain’t free.
Take into account how much it will cost you to throw a party versus how much you’re getting in gifts. Is it worth it?
If you invite 30 people they might spend $15 minimum on a gift. That’s $450. So that would be worth it if your shower budget is only $200.
But if you only have 12 people coming and they spend $15 each, that’s not worth it.
Figure out a budget and a guest list before you announce your shower date.
Alternatives to consider
Instead of throwing a traditional bridal shower, consider an alternative.
You don’t need to invite 30-50 people to your house or a church or pay for a hall. You have other options.
A small dinner party. Just invite a few people to your house for dinner.
Maybe 5 to 10 people. Fifteen at most.
You can make it a potluck, have it catered, or just cook dinner yourself. The cheapest option is to have a potluck so you don’t have to buy all of the food.
A bridal sprinkle. Much like a baby sprinkle, a bridal sprinkle is just a smaller version of a shower.
Call it a sprinkle on your invitations instead of a shower.
You can lose some of the flair like decor. No need to go overboard.
A sprinkle is more chill than a shower so tone down every aspect except food. People like food!
Hold a Honeymoon Raffle. This is a great way to get honeymoon cash if you don’t need household items.
Just have an engagement party. Throwing your own engagement party is more acceptable than a bridal shower.
Plus if you call it an engagement party, everyone can come. Not just the women.
Just don’t forget to include your registry on the invitations.
So really, should you throw your own bridal shower?
That’s up to you!
Some people may think it’s tacky or a faux pas. You could always just have your friend pretend to be the host and do all of the work yourself.
Just make sure it’s financially a good idea before you annouce it to your family. You don’t want to spend more than you get in return.
If no one can throw a wedding shower for you, and you really want one. Just do it. Life is too short to not get what you want.
Or consider an alternative if it’s not for you.
Are you throwing your own wedding shower?
Let me know in the comments below what your plans are!